So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
