We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
