hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
