At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
