too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
