dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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