hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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