She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
