I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
