Me too!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I came so hard my ears popped.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
