Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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