sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
