that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
