Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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