How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
