If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
