who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
