I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
