recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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