I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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