the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
