Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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