Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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