There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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