billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
