I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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