I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
