I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
