I hate all girls vehemently.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Shame - the story of my life.
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