I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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