I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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