Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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