Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
