Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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