one two three fourrrrnication!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
