You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
