he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Randomize
