being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
