So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
