I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize