For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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