Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
