I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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