he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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