North Korea, Best Korea!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
