Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
