Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
