im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
