So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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