omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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