I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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