she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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