Got a toothbrush?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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