that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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