how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
