Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I supernannyed him into submission
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
