just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
