Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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