Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
