evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize