shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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