Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
