to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
