Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
