he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
