The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
