I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
