I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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