p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
